On Accepting: A Metaphor

Three years, right?
Three years of doubting, longing, crying
Trying to deny, but
still I adored you

Call me hypocrite
Living with another man
But my heart was imprisoned
By the one I couldn’t have

I dreamed of you
each night I dreamed of you
but when the dawns break
it’s his silhouette
that fills my view Continue reading



A traveller thought he had walked so long

Cities, villages

Skyscraper, underground cave

Each brings different story, story he would never forget


The traveller thought he has tasted so much

Pain, excitement

Restlessness, joy

He thought he had enough


In a cloudy day, he stood tall

Then raindrops fell down

His bare skin recognized the old friend

The same raindrops has come again Continue reading


I don’t believe in one

Because what I thought the one was leaving

And put me in a misery year


I kept talking to myself

“It is fine, you’ll find another.”

“Maybe you misheard what God said about him, but it’s fine”

“He has chosen, so have you. Choose to love your life.”


But things didn’t get better so I spoke louder

“Damn it can’t you let your feelings go?”

“Will you stop crying like a baby? It’s been like 8 months, and you have to finish your final assignment!”


But sometimes myself blames me for more

“Shit, why should you meet him in the first time? Why didn’t you just pass him by, so he didn’t even have any chance to talk to you?”


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5 Alasan Mengapa Loyola Adalah SMA yang Tepat untuk Anak Anda

Loyola bukan segala-galanya, namun segala-galanya berawal dari Loyola.

Itu adalah quotes yang sering saya dengar ketika masuk ke SMA Kolese Loyola Semarang. Waktu itu saya bingung, kenapa orang-orang ini ‘fanatik’ banget sama Loyola. Kayaknya semua sekolah juga sama-sama aja deh. Emang ini sekolah sebagus apa sih.

Well, I was lucky to be there, I just didn’t realize it yet back then.

Tiga tahun berlalu dan setelah lulus saya mulai mengerti alasan di balik quotes itu. Susah sekali dijabarkan, tapi ada perasaan bangga-bahagia-kangen-manis-ceria-haru ketika mendengar nama ‘Loyola’. Perasaan yang sulit dideskripsikan itu coba saya strukturkan, dan semoga setelah membaca artikel ini Anda tahu ke SMA mana Anda akan menyekolahkan anak anda.

  1. Loyola akan membuat masa SMA anak anda tak terlupakan

Masuk ke Loyola bagaikan masuk ke film Alice in Wonderland. Well, para KEKL (Keluarga Eks Kolese Loyola) pasti setuju. Di minggu pertama sekolah, anak anda akan mengikuti rangkaian proses orientasi (re: Popsila). Pada proses ini, anak-anak baru akan berada di sekolah dari siang sampai sore, di pagi hari akan ada materi oleh guru, di siang hari ada materi oleh kakak kelas (re: orator). Yang seru, jelas, adalah kegiatan di siang hari. Murid baru harus mengikuti ‘games’ yang benar-benar menguras mental dan fisik, tapi pada akhirnya tercipta banyak cerita manis yang bisa diingat. Di tiap popsila, kami diajari mars tahun itu yang harus dihapalkan. This march is another interesting stuff. Setelah lewat masa Popsila, kami mulai diajari mars-mars tahun sebelumnya. Saya yang bukan aktivis sekolah aja sampai hapal mars dari Popsila 2007 sampai 2012 wkwkwkwk.

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An Imaginary Conversation

An imaginary conversation, between myself three years ago (A) and myself now (N)


A:  Hi, myself!

N: Hi, the younger version of me! How are you?

A: Well, I’m kind of busy organizing my schedule. I have an appointment this afternoon with one of my disciple, but she suddenly cancelled it an hour ago. She should have known that I’ve scheduled everything, argh. If only she said it earlier, I would arrange another work to do. Now I have no plan for this afternoon.

N: That’s good.

A: What do you mean by good? I’m unproductive!

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Charts For The Brokenhearted

Okay, let’s be honest. There are times we don’t want to hear anything from The Word. Times we feel God lets us down, dreams are shattered, nobody understands, we feel like everything is a big bullshit hanging around the sky above our head. People make no helpful advice, flashbacks appear again and again, we fool ourselves saying that everything is fine when in fact tears keep coming down our eyes.

When those ‘bad times’ come to me, these sincere songs help me much.

1.Hold My Heart – Tenth Avenue North

Continue reading