“Read contracts from C shelf”

“This is the one.”

“She’ll be back”

“Wait for the storm to end”

“A battle is coming. Can’t you feel it?”



“He’ll be leaving soon”



Being uncomfortable does not mean that you are in wrong path


This is just another battle to equip you with improved skill

Or another course to take you to the next level

Or another piece to complete the puzzle
Just be held

Wait for the time to come

And when you look back

You will smile with no regret



These are another imaginary conversation with me and my observer self regarding all mourning for the loss. It was not an easy road, but yeah, that’s life. Enjoy 🙂

Hi, what’s up?

Hmm, mixed up.

This never occurs in my mind, that coping with loss will be this painful. It’s not an overstating. Faith and encouragement come, but when we fail to look upon God, heavy mood begins to enter the heart. The tug-of-war between these extremes (faith and mood) is unavoidable, and often exhausting. It’s like you experience personal explosions inside your body, day by day, unseen by the other people. Terribly exhausting.

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Terima Kasih !

The loss of loved one is a huge deal, especially when she accounts for 50% of your existence reason. When we couldn’t stand, we thank God for every supportive hand, every encouragement, every text message, every call, every shared tears, and every wise advice. Those really help us to face the future.

My deepest gratitude belongs to:

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Revenue, followers,

Traffic blog, good score,

Gems, rank,

Asset, children


Things you glance at every day

Which draw smile on your face

Pride in your eyes

Insecurity in your heart


Things you fear of losing

Maybe it defines your self worth

Perhaps it drives you compete with others

Even makes you neglect the rest of the world


But trophies do not last forever

Neither does the owner

All things will fade away

For the real world isn’t the world that we see


Can you go beyond the horizon?

When clock stops and what remains, remains

Fractals resembles, unfolding second and space

Another sun comes, the beginning and the last


We aren’t the prey of our own flesh, we aren’t the prey of time

We are three, in one

One may be mortal, yet the two are eternal

The first will get back to its home, while the other will smile endlessly


A good investor invests in something undecayed

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.”

Heart is wicked

“When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.”


Nobody can tell their own real trophy, since it is hidden up above

Beware, what are yours?

When God Calls

Panggilan Tuhan seringkali terjadi di saat yang menurut manusia ngga tepat. Abraham dipanggil saat ia sedang mengembangkan bisnisnya. Daud dipanggil waktu ia masih sangat muda, 16 tahun, bayangkan!

Panggilan Tuhan secara spesifik terjadi pada hidup saya minggu lalu. Saat itu terjadi, saya teriak-teriak. Saya ga mau.

Saya udah tata timeline hidup saya, dan jika saya ikuti panggilan itu, ada kemungkinan timeline yang sudah saya atur sempurna itu jadi berantakan.

Dan benar saja. Tiga hari lalu saya diyakinkan bahwa memang akan berantakan.

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