Pandora Box

They say it will never heal

A blessing

Or a curse?


Dear 2017

Dear 2017, thank you for being such a wonderful year! Through you I learnt how to handle grief, how to lean my hope on God only. I learnt that my attention span is quite short, that leadership needs to be cultivated since childhood otherwise one’s life will be difficult, that people is not 100% honest, even to theirselves.

Thank you for the roller coaster. It’s still unbelievable that a graduation, losing mom, getting the first job in other island, finding best mindmate and losing him, handling a growing ministry, resignation from the first job, moving to the second, getting healed from old wounds, realizing an Eden, all happen in a year. Continue reading


Being uncomfortable does not mean that you are in wrong path


This is just another battle to equip you with improved skill

Or another course to take you to the next level

Or another piece to complete the puzzle
Just be held

Wait for the time to come

And when you look back

You will smile with no regret



These are another imaginary conversation with me and my observer self regarding all mourning for the loss. It was not an easy road, but yeah, that’s life. Enjoy 🙂

Hi, what’s up?

Hmm, mixed up.

This never occurs in my mind, that coping with loss will be this painful. It’s not an overstating. Faith and encouragement come, but when we fail to look upon God, heavy mood begins to enter the heart. The tug-of-war between these extremes (faith and mood) is unavoidable, and often exhausting. It’s like you experience personal explosions inside your body, day by day, unseen by the other people. Terribly exhausting.

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Terima Kasih !

The loss of loved one is a huge deal, especially when she accounts for 50% of your existence reason. When we couldn’t stand, we thank God for every supportive hand, every encouragement, every text message, every call, every shared tears, and every wise advice. Those really help us to face the future.

My deepest gratitude belongs to:

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